Brusha brusha brusha

I loved the Bucky Beaver Ipana toothpaste ads and they worked.  We bought Ipana, and I somehow scored a beautiful gold coloured special Bucky Beaver patch from who knows where.

I was into collecting fabric “patches” when I was a teenager, and using some of them too, to patch up holes in ragged old jeans.  I loved my Bucky Beaver patch but lost it in the “mists of time”.  You can get an idea of what it was like, by imagining the picture below to be oval shaped fabric with gold edging on a white background, and a handsome Bucky smiling at you, but without his toothpaste.  Yes, it was just Bucky, pure & simple.



It has only taken me 50 years to realise that it does pay to visit my Dentist every 6 months for an Examination and a “Scale and Clean”.  Witness today when Her Majesty, Me finally turned up at the local dentist after last going to a dentist 18 months ago!  It does help alot when your Dentist is Maria, whom is not only a great dentist, but truly a lovely person.

Now, fortunately, I have naturally good teeth.  My Pardner says I have alot of natural fluoride, unlike him, whose teeth, sadly, are in the opposite condition.  The scariest thing for me about going to the Dentist is laying on the flat chair staring at the strange rectangular fluorescent yellowy white light.  For some reason, that light conjures up thoughts or images about aliens and awful things.

My teeth are not pretty.  In fact they are yellowish due to the fact that when I was a baby, the Doctors thought I had a “hole in the heart” and gave me medicine which stained my teeth.  Then before my permanent teeth all came out, some wise dentist in Australia thought to pull out two of my bottom teeth in order to make room for the upcoming teeth nearby to grow.  The only thing is that he pulled out 2 of my permanent teeth.

On top of that I may join others in a neglect of the upper back teeth or at least of the back teeth.  Therefore my last upper back tooth on the left sports a Root Canal job, and the one next to it toward the middle, has most of the tooth missing and in its place, a huge filling.  Fortunately I never experienced being given “gas” to anesthetize me, as happened to my poor Pardner when he was a boy in England.  Having a very “sweet tooth” should have prompted me to take on the dentist regularly, for the greater good (that of preserving my teeth).

My appointment for today was at 12 midday and I was very brave.  I didn’t ask for the treatment to stop at any time, though I felt like pushing aside the instruments and shouting “let me go” toward the end.  I thought I was three quarters through the clean, but maybe it was only two thirds, though I don’t know which is greater (never being good at comparing fractions) and started to relax my tightly clenched fists which were in my lap.

No, the torture continued.  There was a “pick” of some sort, which hurt, and a cleaning tool of some sort, and a Bib of course, and an Assistant with the sucker thing, and who had an important duty, which was to constantly use the bib for wiping my face.  The assistant offered me goggle like glasses at the start and I joked that I could just slip them over my own glasses, because I could do that with some beautiful red “NOVA radio station” sunglasses that I had scored earlier.  ( I had tried to go in a competition in the CBD or the city to win an iPad but it had closed, at which I looked so sad, that the kind Nova people quickly offered me a free pair of their red Sun-glasses, as compensation, haha .)



But to my surprise the Dental glasses were nothing like “graceful easy slip-on over your own petite glasses” NOVA sun-glasses in red, even though the Dental goggles were dark tinted like Sunglasses.  They were more like “underwater glue on your face” goggles, to stop spray and wipe aimed at your eyes.   I waived the x-rays which would have upped the price.  The Examination cost $52 AUD and the Scale and Clean ( titled “Removal of Calculus” ) on the Bill cost $105.  Luckily I get back the full price of the S&C from HBF and 60 percent of the examination cost.

Maria enquired as to how often I used the Floss and I “beat around the bush” and said protestingly in reply, “but that stuff hurts my gums”, honestly.   She did not accept this, but went on to tell me that of course if I hardly ever used it, at the beginning it would hurt, but the idea actually was to use it every day.  Actually her speech was quite impressive, as she went on to say how stuff can infiltrate between the teeth to get at the gums, then the gums can loosen, and your teeth can fall out.

Still, I resisted by asking “yeah but what brand of Dental Floss is best?” and she shrugged and said “we use Colgate”.   I know that back in the days of the Egyptian Pharaohs that it mattered not if you were Royalty or not.  They had no Dentists then and some of them had terrible teeth problems.  I read somewhere that some Egyptians died from un-treated dental problems.  As a reward, Maria gave me a tiny tube of Colgate toothpaste and I rewarded myself at home by looking at eBay.

So in summary, Her Majesty Me, recommends to herself that she go to the dentist once every 6 months, and that everyone does.  The 6 monthly visits mean you won’t be so tortured for 40 minutes, which is what will happen if you only go every 18 months or every 3 years.

There will be less “calculus” ( I thought calculus was a mathematical operation ), and less expense in the long run.  This is because you are actually having your teeth professionally examined and cleaned, which will prevent further deterioration and possible Root Canals, which cost $1000 here and require 3 visits to your dentist.